It’s heart wrenching to see your children (adult children) at odds. Jeff and Jake came home from Basslake yesterday. I wasn’t pleased as I wanted Jeff away from the entire New Years party scene. Jeff stated he came home to take care of the physical, hair cut, etc that the P.O. indicated he had to complete before January 5th.Everything was going fine until Liz opened her mouth. Jeff was talking about what he needed to get done (mind you he’s been home for three hours and he is still sober!!); actually appearing in a decent and friendly mood as well. Liz made a commented to the effect, ” Well when you go into the Marines you can pay Mom all that money you owe her for being stupid – DUI *stupid look*” Jeff immediately went off stating it was not Liz’ concern. THey started trading digs, “You are never going to be anything.” Back and forth and all I could think to myself was “What does this have to with the two of them.”- I told Liz to mind her own business and there was no need to upset Jeff over things that were already discussed between Jeff and the person involed; that being Geoff. Of couse they never let anything go and continued with – you – no you – you- no you. It is almost sad to see two young adults acting like they are three and four years old.

Ulitimately I told Liz to go home as she was not able to let go of making Jeff feel bad. I agree with Liz to an extent. Jeff needs to know what he does and has done effected all of us. Jeff needs to know that his fuck ups are costly and when I come to the rescue someone else goes without. However, Liz is not the person that should do that. Especially when Jeff’s on the right road; at least at the moment. Jeff is home to take care of what he needs to for the court to terminate his probation. He left the lake and the activity so enjoyed of laying around to be responsible. I think that counts for something even if it is a little something.

I think the hardest part of last night for me was when Jeff said, “Liz, I know you think I am not going to go anywhere in my life, and you are probably right. I know I am a fuck-up but I am trying to change that.” He had tears in his eyes as he was saying this. I didn’t interject as this was something between them. It was so difficult. Jeff went on to say, ” I know you are doing something with your life and I am glad. I love you and all but….” then he cried and went to his room.

When Liz left Jeff came out all pissed off. He stated that he hated her and she lives to make him feel like crap. I didn’t try to defend either of them. I just listened. I told Jeff I would talk to Liz about not butting in. Jeff was upset. He continued to say he hated her but loved her. He went on to say that there have been lots of times that he knew something about her boyfriend; what he was doing; lies around her, etc but didn’t tell her because he didn’t want to hurt her. Right before he left the room he said, “Mom, does she hate me that much she has to remind me that I am nothing.”

Isn’t this just heart breaking? *sigh*