Well once again the kids didn’t surprise me. I was hoping they would because the surprise would have been expressed by displaying appreciation, respect, helpfulness, and all those other nice emotions, acts and state of being.Going back a few days because I have been very bad at recording our history lately; Nov 22 was Liz’s birthday. It was all I could do not to go all out and by her a great present. I enjoy doing that so much and sometimes I think I do it more for my own enjoyment and not the kid’s pleasure. But anyway – I got a card and a Target gift certificate so she can afford to get shampoo, razors, etc. Her living on her own is going to break my wallet. It was hard not to buy her something more, but since I have paid all her bills this last month I figured that was her present. The most recent bill was her gas and electric. She is still so young minded. Walking in the day they are going to turn the power off and expecting me to save the day; the day was saved but it is not something that is a do-able thing every day of the week. So although I paid her 100+ bills, and got her a card and gift card we still went to dinner; nothing too good for my girl even if we (meaning I) are financially drowning.

So, day before Thanksgiving Liz goes to Los Angeles, downtown Disney to be exact, to do what – basically nothing just wanted to get away with a few friends. I bit my tongue when she told me she was going. After all she is 20 – and her version of an adult so I didn’t throw in my two cents. Personally, I don’t think spending money, any money on such things is appropriate when you just had your bills paid by another. She could have offered the money back to me, or simply just kept it to ensure she would have enough to pay her up and coming bills. But that is thinking like a “real” adult.

Liz was supposed to come over when she arrived back in town. The day before Thanksgiving and a lot of cooking needed to be done. Some of it was her job, well one thing, the ambrosia. She is the only one that eats it and “really really really really” wants to have it at dinner. At midnight I call her.

“Where are you?”

“Mom I am sleeping” she replied.

“Liz you were supposed to come over when you got back to town.”

I heard some ruffling sounds like she was getting positioned in bed, ” MOM!!! it’s not a big deal I will do it in the morning.”

What was there to say, “What time will you be here to help?” “In the morning Mom, geeez.”

We ended the lovely phone call on that note.

So Thanksgiving Day arrived and back into the kitchen I go. I called Liz about 11:00 – by no means early.

“What time are you coming over?”

“Mom, I am tired.”

“Liz are you planning on helping?”

*growl*” Mom, it is just ambrosia I don’t need it, but why can’t you make it?”

Silence…

Silence..

Silence…

“Ok, Liz I will make it. So what time are you coming over to help?”

“Mom I am really tired I will be over later to help.”

End of call.

Needless to say I was irritated. She’s a good kid but she resides in that selfish state. I know kids are selfish during their growing up process it is just always so difficult when you are faced with it day after day.

So here I am in the kitchen slaving away. Jake comes in does a few little things to help and then asks if he could go to his friend’s house for a bit. Of course I say yes. Jeff comes in and is in a foul mood because Thanksgiving dinner will come and go without him home. He has to work and how unfair it is that we do not wait for him. Jeff is in that state of “no one really loves me”- I know he thinks that with very intense feelings. It is hard to feel loved when you drink, drink and drink some more so much so that the only interaction we have is “STOP DRINKING”. Anyway, Jeff goes off to work – Jakes goes to his friends – and Liz is sleeping. Does this sound like a family togetherness moment?

Geoff comes in to help with the peeling of vegetables, but I am so annoyed there is no great fun in doing that together. In fact the days leading up to Thanksgiving were horrid and it truly showed in all my actions and words.

So, now it is about 2:30 p.m. and Liz wanders in. I am annoyed she has an attitude and I ask her to do something in the kitchen. Oh my god you would have thought I asked her for her first born child (when she has one). Her attitude worsened and that is just about the entire day in a nut shell.

I told myself before Thanksgiving arrived that I didn’t want to cook this year. I told all of them as well. But oh no – Mom has to cook. It’s mom’s job. It isn’t Thanksgiving if Mom doesn’t cook. What is thanksgiving if Mom is in the kitchen pretty much alone? What is thanksgiving if everyone just stops over to eat and then leaves? What is thanksgiving when no one is thankful for anything but expecting everything?

I swear next year I am not cooking! (Ok I might take that back because *I* love the dinner and I cook it wonderfully).

I love my kids – I do….I just believe they are the most spoiled creatures on the face of the earth and I think they have pushed me to the breaking point. They will now learn what it is to go without. I don’t care if that is going without on holidays or everyday things. They are old enough at 20, 18, and 16 to make it without the world being handed to them. Aren’t they?

So pardon my fugly state of mind – Sometimes there is no dodging the fug!!

fug·ly ( P ) Pronunciation Key (fgl)

adj. fug·li·er, fug·li·est

Vulgar Slang. Very ugly.

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