I can’t say things in the world of motherhood have been heaven lately; though it was nice they were completely in hell either.Liz has given me just a little bit of heartache. I have tried to not focus too much on her selfishness as I realize that as a young adult, age 20, life really is about her. She’s trying to find herself, and sometimes unfortunately that is at my expense. There’s no ill will in her heart. I will overlook the selfish moments and look to the brighter future where she is a more responsible and understanding adult. Every now and again that person breaks through and she’s beautiful vision.

Today Liz called me because her wisdom teeth (growing in) were killing her. She spent three hours at the dentist and found out the insurance deny the extraction as it is borderline needed (according to insurance?? since when did they become dental professionals?) The dentist told her that she also is suffering from an infection and now she’s doped up at home with pain meds and antibiotics.

The dentist gave her the name of the oral surgeon and Liz, the chicken that she is, called the surgeon’s office and told them that as soon as the insurance company approves the surgery she will take any appointment date, cancellation, etc. She just needs to get it done. I know she must be in pain because she cries and puts off getting her teeth clean but is jumping through hoops to get these extractions done as quickly as possible.


So I thought things were just a little bit better with Jeff – boy was I mistaken. Things were alright tonight until about 9 p.m. I heard the front door open and a bunch of Jeff’s friend’s came in, but when I said “who is coming in” no one answered. Most of Jeff’s “usual” friends say “Hi Mom, etc” With all the quietness I felt something was a miss. I went back to his room, turned the door knob, and what do you know the door was locked. I was immediately PISSED OFF! I knocked hard, really I pounded. Jeff opened the door and I immediately smelled alcohol. I didn’t recognize any of Jeff’s friends. They weren’t, or didn’t seem to be the usual crowd, and they didn’t seem to care that I was pissed.

I told Jeff to get the alcohol out of the house. I went into the usual rant; respect me and my house, and all that other bullshit. Jeff continued to say “Mom, lets talk about this.” What’s there to talk about? “Get the alcohol out of my house now!” Jeff tried to pull the “You want them drinking and driving?” I told Jeff if that is what they wanted to do that was on them. Of course, Jeff comes up with, “You want me in the car with them while they are drinking and driving?” I stuck with “Then that’s on you.” I couldn’t believe I actually said it out loud. No I don’t want him getting into a car with kids that have been drinking, but honestly, can I stop him? No, I can’t.

The argument went on for a few minutes. I ended up saying things so inappropriate; maybe not so inappropriate but so not me. I told Jeff it was time for him to move out. All he kept saying was “No, I don’t think so.” It went on and on. Finally I told Jeff in a couple of weeks Geoff will be living here full time and he won’t be able get away with this shit. Jeff started in with “I will beat the shit out of him” – Of course the right thing to do here would have been to walk away because there is no sense fighting when he is simply saying things to get a rise out of me, but did I do that, nope, no I didn’t. I ended up saying something to the effect I would side with Geoff and Jeff would end up in jail; really motherly isn’t it!

Jeff stomped out of the house (all his fucked up friends were waiting in the car by this point) and slammed the door; then came back and punched the outside of the front door. I locked it behind him and turned on the porch light (for when he comes home later). See the humor (or misery) in that. He blows up – I verbally throw him out – I leave a light on for his return.

As I said it was a quiet, more low key time recently but when my life hits the fan it really hits the fan!