It has been a while since I chronicled the days involving the children. A highly emotional time has found its way to my doorstep and although I remember all the recent events with my children I have not at the time to preserve them in print.

Highlights:

Started Christmas shopping and it is difficult to shop for grown and almost grown children. I am use to providing them the world and doing so not only for them but because it makes me feel warm and wonderful. Financially that isn’t possible anymore (which stresses me out and makes me feel a failure) but also there is not much in the way of need. They have what they need and much of what they want; that being the case what does a mother get them?

12/08/2004 Geoff took the day off work to take Jeff to court for the offense of a minor purchasing alcohol; also to file the motion for termination of probation to allow him to enlist in the military. Jeff was ordered to pay a fine of a $100 (which could have been as much as $600) and was not ordered to do anything more. A hearing date to address the termination of probation was set for 12/21/2004.

12/09/2004 after a very long and emotional day (my sister’s health scare and emergency surgery) I get a call from Jeff. Jeff was at his friend’s house and when I was talking to him he said “did Jake tell you?” Now, most mother’s and/or parents know that can only mean bad news. “What is wrong” I respond. His reply, “I got fired.” All I could think to myself is SHIT!!!! – Just what I need. At least with his working I didn’t have to feel as if I was contributing to his drinking fund. I told him he would have to get a new job fairly quickly. He informed me he went back to the Marine recruiting office and really wants to enlist. “How can you?” I said. He is still on probation and with the new offense (minor purchasing alcohol) makes it highly improbable that the court is going to terminate his probation.

Geoff isn’t sure he can get the day off. It is important, so very important that he gets the day off. Jeff cannot be a **MAN** when I am around. For some reason he stays a little boy when in my presence. With his friends it seems he has to show off and be the big shot. However, with Geoff he is the man everyone needs to see. He finds that sense of adultness that is awesome. I really wish I could see that man some times but I am glad Geoff is able to call it out of him.

Geoff informed me he asked for the day off and was told no. I was upset, of course, and couldn’t believe they could or would say no when it has to do with your child. Of course I feel as if his work is probably thinking **it’s just a step child at best. ** Geoff says he will call in sick but he cannot do that now or it is cause for termination (or could be). Geoff is planning on talking to his supervisor’s supervisor and discussing the importance of his presence for my son’s hearing.

All this effort to get Jeff out of probation so he can enlist and be one of the Few – The Proud – The Marines. All that so I can worry for his safety and yes his life. Although, if he stays home and continues on the road of drinking and hanging out with friends I worry about his safety and his life. Maybe as a Marine – a cause he believes in- maybe then he will find a happiness that is missing.

I will be scared but happy for him.

Jake and Liz have been uneventful these days. Well for the most part. Jake did cut school for one full day and I took his car away for a short time. I hope that sent him a message. Time will tell.

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