Just how many times does Liz have to go through the emotional roller coaster ride with Adam#2. I don’t know how to help other than to listen when she is in need. At least that is what I always thought, but now just listening is getting old, and there comes a time when you choose to be on the roller coaster or choose to get off. My words to her now are supportive but straight and to the point. How many different ways does she have to be abused? No, it isn’t physical, but that doesn’t mean it is not harming her psyche.

I was watching television and I believe it was on Wedding Date where I heard the line, or something to the effect Women have exactly the kind of relationship they want . I told Liz that tonight and she didn’t say much to it. I don’t know how to get through to her other than to be harsh. No more sugar coating it. It’s time to move on. I can’t make her take the steps, but I will no longer sit silenty while she chooses wrong.

LIZ: hey
MOM: hey
LIZ: what are you doing?
MOM: working on a report
LIZ: sorry I didn’t call you back…the phone isn’t working too well
MOM: ok
MOM: no biggie
LIZ: I’m looking on Ebay right now for a new one…last time I found mine for really cheap most of the ones I’ve saved to show you are under 50 dollar…my last one was 25 tho…
MOM: i dont need to see them
MOM: you can just tell me what the cost is…cheap is all we can afford
LIZ: I know but I thought since you have an ebay account you could buy it and just have it shipped to me.
MOM: i don’t have an ebay account..or if I do I don’t remember the info on it…hang on let me see if I can remember
LIZ: oh wait I have one I think…
MOM: I think I figured mine out too
MOM: I think
LIZ: hehe!
LIZ: I think I knew mine all along just had to think of it for a quick sec.
LIZ: Sorry I called you crying today…
LIZ: adam called and said sorry
MOM: and you accepted?
LIZ: I don’t know…he offered to help buy my phone.
LIZ: but he said he wouldn’t have money for about a week and I need a phone now!
MOM: help? he should pay for it all
MOM: well, I guess I can pay for it and he can pay me back
MOM: but I expect to be paid back
LIZ: yah.
LIZ: I agree
MOM: I am pretty upset myself…and you seem to see little wrong with this situation
MOM: the fact that you two argue is your business…but you pulling his hair him taking you to the ground him throwing your phone..etc….
MOM: it is called domestic violence
LIZ: Mom I do see wrong with the situation…I know I wasn’t an angel either tho….
MOM: you two fight and it escalates and you don’t see anything wrong with it. You continue to put yourself in the situation
LIZ: I know I shouldn’t…I think we are going to really try to just be friends….if that.
MOM: ok, so you weren’t an angel..and you know it is wrong…what are you doing to do about it?
MOM: Liz..You are choosing to be miserable. You know that, right?
LIZ: I know I’ve gotten myself so far into it tho…I’m trying to stop it’s just hard…
LIZ: it’s like an addition.
MOM: I love you..and I know you have the potential for a great life…but not if you continue this pattern
MOM: and addictions kill…they ruin lives . yours and others
LIZ: yeah I know.
MOM: I used to feel badly..and feel you were having a hard time..I know you really like/liked Adam…sex changes everything Liz and you probably had sex with a person you shouldn’t have…
MOM: and now…now your whole life is stopped right there …and you refuse to move forward
LIZ: I know I’m trying to move forward just baby steps…
MOM: you have opportunity to be a real adult with real relationships ..you just have to want it
MOM: baby steps is what you have been doing for over a year now…it is time to just do it and stop using the “trying” BS
MOM: you either want happiness or you don’t
LIZ: I know, but sometimes I think Adam would be good for me if he grew up a little and if I gave him another chance maybe it would be different
MOM: I love you..i do..but you need someone to tell you what is going on because you dont or wont see it
MOM: Adam will never be good for you
MOM: He was always a child …always immature…always verbally abusive ..he always made you feel inadequate…he always made you feel like it was our fault…and he always resorted to breaking things and violence to scare and intimidate you
MOM: Adam can be a good person some day…hopefully..when he learns the skills…but he cant be a good partner for you
MOM: Adam drinks and does drugs…your father did too…party like..that turns into something else…Adam isolates you from friends cause he is jealous..your father did too…
MOM: you want to be a 30 something year old woman with no friends and no self esteem?

LIZ: no…
LIZ: I just need to really think about it…the future and stuff too.
MOM: you need to stop thinking like a 10th grader and start thinking like a young woman who wants a promising future
MOM: it is hard to grow up ..change..and choose right…but it is time
LIZ: I know.
MOM: they are your decisions..you have to live your choices..and right now your choices are choosing to be miserable
MOM: Adam is no longer doing this to you…you are doing it to you
LIZ: I know its not him…I’m subjecting myself to it…
MOM: I cant see anything good in your life happening while you continue to do this
MOM: once you start making changes…you will find life will be more enjoyable..seem a bit easier..and things will fall into place..even things that change or fall into your lap will be better…nothing good can or will happen while you are abusing yourself
MOM: you arent open to being happy right now
LIZ: yes I am…I just sometime feel like if I lose Adam completly alot of my life will be gone.
MOM: Liz, people change, grow and move on. Adam is one person at the beginning of your life…what makes you think he is supposed to be the end of your life
MOM: your life is created by you and the memories you open yourself up to
MOM: you haven’t really given yourself permission to make new memories with new people
LIZ: I know…I dont know why I feel sometimes I want him at the end…in some way or another…you know its hard for me to break free
MOM: I know it is time to do it no matter how hard it is
MOM: I know that everyone sees it but you
MOM: I know that Adam brings out the worst in you..always has
MOM: I know..you were happier in spirit without adam
LIZ signed off at 10:39:49 PM.
MOM: Adam brought some good times to you….but he is not the end of your good times

I really have to leave it at that for tonight. She left, most likely because she couldn’t or wouldn’t hear anymore. Hopefully she will do a little bit of thinking. She was upset, on top of the Adam #2 stuff because she heard today Adam#1, her first love, is getting married. I know it must be hard to hear, but it is not like she and Adam #1 haven’t tried to work it out time and time again. Sometimes highschool sweethearts are meant to be left in highschool. Adam #1 is a part of our family and always will be (he still calls me mom) but him and Liz – well they are more like brother and sister now. Him getting married is a whole other entry. He’s only known this girl a few months, and he just got out of a relationship with a fellow Marine who he was supposedly in love with. I sure hope he doesn’t do something stupid and marry only to divorce. Oh, can’t forget the best part. She wants to drop out of college. I do have my work cut out for me – college is a must.

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